I chose adoption because I was still a child

At 17, I didn’t have the coping skills to handle my own life, much less take care of another human being. I had so much to learn about how the world worked. I had just barely moved out on my own. I was moody and rebellious and immature. I didn’t know who I was yet. Admitting that maybe I didn’t know everything about the world was hard. But it wouldn’t have been fair to either of us had I tried to raise a child when I was still a child myself.

I chose adoption because I couldn’t provide the family I wanted her to have

My birth daughter’s biological father is quite a bit older than me. The relationship I had with him was not healthy, and marriage would not have been a safe idea. I wanted my little girl to have a mommy and daddy who loved each other. Had I parented, she would have been torn between her parents in a never-ending custody battle. She deserved more than that.

I chose adoption because I had goals

It’s hard to admit that placing my baby for adoption benefited me in some ways. I wanted to go to college and have a good job. I wanted to get married. I wanted to travel. Could I have reached these goals as a single parent? Probably. But it would have been a whole lot harder. The goals I want to accomplish will make me a good mom–someday. But as a teen, it wasn’t the right timing.

I chose adoption because I needed to take responsibility

One of my options was to move back in with my parents and have them help me raise the baby. That might have been okay. But I was the mom, and I felt that my parents raising my child would not have been the right thing to do in my case. My parents and I are very different in our viewpoints on parenting, and having them help me parent my child would have put a lot of strain on my relationship with them. That strain would have caused even more instability for my baby. Since I could not provide the emotional and financial stability that my child deserved, I needed to find someone who could.

Being a teen does not automatically make adoption the right choice. However, most teens need some more time to grow up before taking on the responsibility of parenting. Placing a baby for adoption does not mean you have failed. It does not mean you are irresponsible. It is your responsibility as a parent to take an objective look at your life, and decide whether you are in a place to raise a child at this time. You are the only one who can truly decide what is right for you and your baby.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Do you want more choices with your adoption plan? Do you want to regain more control in your life? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. We can help you put together an adoption plan that best meets your needs.

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It Wasn’t Just A Teen Pregnancy

Yes, I was a teenager when I got pregnant. But what about her father? “Around two-thirds of the male partners of teenage females are older than age 20.” My baby’s father was 24 (that’s a seven year difference). My pregnancy wasn’t just a result of two dumb kids. It was the result of a relationship between a man and a young girl. I take full responsibility for my actions, I chose to enter the relationship, but I was still so young, and in some ways I feel taken advantage of.

2. I Am Not A Dropout

I had my baby in the middle of my first semester of college. I stayed in school, and am now getting close to my degree. I chose adoption, but even if I had parented, I could finish college. There would have been enough government resources to help me do that. Having a baby does not have to put a halt to your life. I am continuing my education to make her proud.

3. I’m Not Stupid or Irresponsible

Lots of teenagers have sex, and many of them have sex without birth control. Most of those kids don’t happen to get pregnant, but some of them do. Obviously, I should have been smarter. I should have insisted on using birth control, even if the man I was with was against it. But one irresponsible decision does not make me an entirely irresponsible individual. Other teens I know did use protection and still ended up pregnant. Contraception is not infallible, and failed contraception does not make them irresponsible.

4. I Am Not A Slut

I deal with the stereotype that girls who get knocked up must sleep around. This simply isn’t true. I had only been with this one guy, and I thought I was in love with him. I thought he was going to marry me, and we would live happily ever after. My child was not a result of a one night stand. She was a result of what I thought was a meaningful relationship.

5. I Can Still Be Successful

Being a teenager and pregnant makes things harder, but it does not make things impossible. I’m 20-years-old and a junior in college. I have good grades. I work three jobs. I’m making it. My little girl didn’t ruin my progress, she motivated me to make more. I got through my teen pregnancy, and I’ll get through everything else life throws my way.

Teen pregnancy is not something I recommend. It is difficult, but not impossible to get through. I had to grow up too fast. But now that I’m here, I wouldn’t change it. The love I have for my little girl and the strength I had to gain has given me the tools to have a happy, healthy adulthood.

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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