1. Do not, under any circumstances, say any variation of “How could you do this to us?” It is most assuredly not about you or your feelings. It is not about doing something to you or throwing something in your face. If she is telling you, she is asking for your help, your support, and your love.

2. Do not assume to know how she got pregnant or by whom. Don’t threaten her significant other (if she has one) and do not go down the trail of “my poor little daughter.” It takes two to tango. Unless she was raped, in which case, there is due process and you threatening to kill someone is not going to help either way.
3. Do not tell her how it is going to be. She has potentially made some very adult decisions already without your help. You are there to guide and help her, but ultimately it is her body that she has made a choice with. Lay out her options. Perhaps you can suggest she start receiving prenatal care, have the baby, go back to school while you take care of the baby and support her through this transition, or start receiving prenatal care, look into adoption agencies to place the baby with a loving family. She may have other options and opinions that can be talked through. Every family is different and has different ideas.

4. Do not talk down to her or give ultimatums. Pregnant woman are known to be emotional, teenagers are known to be emotional. Pregnant teenage girls are going to likely be emotional. Treating your beloved daughter with unkindness over a lapse in decision-making will not bode well for you.

5. Don’t throw her out. Teen girls on the street do not fare well. Teen girls who are pregnant less so. People can and will take advantage of girls in desperate situations. She may have broken your family rules and expectations. Alternatively maybe she didn’t and feels ashamed to say she was raped. Either way, she will need a home, a soft place to land, and all the love that you can give.

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Congratulations, you’re a grandparent! While this statement is wonderful when your children are married, have a stable life, and are financially independent, this statement can be devastating when you are the parent of a teenage daughter. Don’t fret, there is hope for the future. Here are some things you can do to help your daughter have success as a mother.

While being a teen mom is obviously not an ideal situation, have a conversation with your daughter, and thank her for being open with you. While you are scared for her, she is probably more scared than you are and was probably really afraid to open up to her parents with such big, life-changing news. Meet her where she is, ease her fears, and let her know that you are proud of her for being honest and wanting to do the responsible thing.

Talk about your options, ask your daughter if she wants to raise her child or place the child for adoption, and support her decision. If you daughter who chooses adoption, help her choose an agency and pick a family. If your daughter chooses to raise her child, help her navigate the waters of being a teen mom.

If your teenage daughter is in a stable relationship with a responsible father-to-be, the best decision may be for them to get married and start their own life. If the father is wanting to be in his child’s life and be together with your daughter, you may offer for them to live in your home until they finish school, and are financially able to move out on their own.

If the father is not responsible, won’t be an active father, and isn’t good to your daughter, do not force your daughter to be in a relationship with the father. Offer to let your daughter live with you while she finishes school and is able to have a steady income. While having a newborn baby in your home isn’t what you had in mind, consider this: the best chance your daughter has of living a comfortable life is to finish her education. If she has to move out on her own and work, she may be trapped in a cycle of working minimum wage jobs just to pay the rent, instead of focusing on doing well in school.

Look into your options. She may qualify for food stamps, WIC, daycare assistance, Medicare, etc. There may also be private scholarships and special night-time schools available for teenage moms.

Being a teenage mom is not as scary as it was 30 years ago due to a number of organizations and government stipends available for single-mothers and teenage mothers. Be supportive and get excited for that little bundle of joy that is about to enter the world!

The post How Parents Can Help Their Daughter Through a Teen Pregnancy appeared first on Teen Pregnancy | Facts, Rates, Stories, Help, Articles, Effects.

When telling your parents you are pregnant, it is best to take the approach of ripping off the band aid. Find a time where each parent is in an even keeled mood and sit them down to tell them in a private place. If you need support, ask an adult whom you both trust, such as a grandparent, aunt, uncle, etc. to be there as well for support. It may feel like it is the hardest thing you will ever do, but it is best to simply tell them, “I am pregnant.” You will have to deal with a lot of emotions. It is important to let them feel what they need to feel.

Written by Lita Jordan

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

The post How To Tell Your Parents You’re Pregnant appeared first on Teen Pregnancy | Facts, Rates, Stories, Help, Articles, Effects.

Just what you feared: A “positive” result on your pregnancy test. But you think to yourself, “That’s not very positive.” You also think, “What am I going to tell my parents?” and “What I am going to tell my boyfriend?” The next thought may be, “What am I going to do now?” The negative feelings may be overwhelming. You feel like there is no hope. You can’t see past tomorrow. Abortion may cross your mind. But there are other options. There are other places to get help if you are a pregnant teen.

1)     Pregnancy Resource Centers

A Pregnancy Resource Center, also known as a Crisis Pregnancy Center, focuses on the pregnant teen as well as their unborn child. Some of their services may include: free pregnancy tests, parenting classes, pre-natal development classes, counseling, life coaching, and free supplies such as diapers, baby wipes, etc. These centers give you full information on what to expect in labor and delivery and beyond. These centers respect you as a person and will be there for you regardless of wheat you decide to do. They may even provide post-abortion counselling, if needed. Some centers have programs for dads as well. These centers perform these services free of charge. Click here for more information.

2)     Maternity Homes

A maternity home is a place a pregnant teen can go if they are at risk for homelessness or if they need a place to stay far away from their community where they will be loved, supported, cared for, and not judged. Maternity Homes, also known as Maternity Housing, may provide such things as: housing, support, pregnancy resources, addiction counseling, and spiritual counseling. Click here for more information.

3)     Mentoring and support services:

There are many resources for teen moms including:

Young Lives

T.O.P.S (Teen Outreach Pregnancy Services)

According to the TOPS website,

“TOPS is an Arizona non-profit organization that provides healthy pregnancy, childbirth, and parenting education and support to families of all ages …”

4)     Extended family

Have you ever thought about reaching out to a distant relative for help? A grandma, a grandpa, an aunt, uncle, cousin or even older sibling may offer help, guidance, and advice that you never dreamt of. Perhaps they went through a similar circumstance when they were your age. Perhaps they have experience on how to navigate these troubled waters. They may be able to take you in for a few months till you deliver. They may even be willing to adopt your child, should you choose to go down that road.

Lastly and perhaps, most controversial, have you considered… the father’s family? I know, I know, I know: there are many cases where you cannot or would not ever think of reaching out to that side of the family. But if you do have a good relationship with your boyfriend and if his family are good, upstanding citizens, what do you have to lose? After all, they may be able to provide a place for you to stay during tough times and may even care for your child on a short-term or long-term basis. This may also ensure that the father stays actively involved in his child’s life; the child is also his responsibility. His family is also extended family.

In any event, there are places to go when a teen has a crisis pregnancy. Think outside of the box! There is hope. There is not only one choice… there are a myriad of choices. Choose one that is right for you AND your baby.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Not sure what to do next? First, know that you are not alone. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98 to speak to one of our Options Counselors to get compassionate, nonjudgmental support. We are here to assist you in any way we can.

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