1. Most Adoptions Are Open
A 2012 survey by the Evan B. Donald Adoption Institute, reported in the Washington Times, surveyed over 4,400 domestic adoptions from over 100 agencies, and found that 95 percent of US infant adoptions are now open. Fifty-five percent of these were “fully disclosed,” with regular, face-to-face contact, and 40 percent were “mediated,” where contact is maintained through e-mails, letters, and photos, and only 5 percent were “closed,” where adoptive parents were not provided with information about the birth parents beyond medical data. While an open adoption allows birth parents to feel secure in their child’s happiness and well-being, it also provides the adoptee with a sense of certainty about their past and support for the future. Most birth mothers feel comfort and delight when they receive regular news of achievements at school or new friends made or are able to observe their child’s progress in person.

2. Most Adopted Kids Are Happy
A report in 2007 by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services surveyed over 2,000 families that adopted children domestically, internationally, or from foster care. “Adoption USA” found that over 85 percent of adopted children are in excellent or good health, and were more likely to have health insurance than most American kids. They were also found to be more likely to read each day and be more involved in extracurricular activities than children in the general population. Many adoptive parents have been eager to create a family for years, and are bursting to shower their new child with the gifts and affection he or she needs to grow up healthy and well-adjusted.

3. There is Low Financial Stress
While the details vary from state to state, most adoptive parents can pay a birth mother’s reasonable medical, legal, and counseling services associated with the adoption. Living expenses could include rent, food, maternity clothing, and transportation during the adoption plan, and the birth mother can be reimbursed in most cases.

4. There are Resources and Hope
As with any pregnancy that does not end in parenting, birth mothers can experience emotions such as confusion and loss. There are countless counselors, books, podcasts, and support groups that can help you make peace with your past and embrace the future. Focusing on the advantages your child has in their new home, as well as your own goals and dreams that are facilitated by the adoption plan, will create a healthy path for you to navigate toward your destiny.

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

The post Four Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Be Scared of Adoption appeared first on Teen Pregnancy | Facts, Rates, Stories, Help, Articles, Effects.

1. Do not, under any circumstances, say any variation of “How could you do this to us?” It is most assuredly not about you or your feelings. It is not about doing something to you or throwing something in your face. If she is telling you, she is asking for your help, your support, and your love.

2. Do not assume to know how she got pregnant or by whom. Don’t threaten her significant other (if she has one) and do not go down the trail of “my poor little daughter.” It takes two to tango. Unless she was raped, in which case, there is due process and you threatening to kill someone is not going to help either way.
3. Do not tell her how it is going to be. She has potentially made some very adult decisions already without your help. You are there to guide and help her, but ultimately it is her body that she has made a choice with. Lay out her options. Perhaps you can suggest she start receiving prenatal care, have the baby, go back to school while you take care of the baby and support her through this transition, or start receiving prenatal care, look into adoption agencies to place the baby with a loving family. She may have other options and opinions that can be talked through. Every family is different and has different ideas.

4. Do not talk down to her or give ultimatums. Pregnant woman are known to be emotional, teenagers are known to be emotional. Pregnant teenage girls are going to likely be emotional. Treating your beloved daughter with unkindness over a lapse in decision-making will not bode well for you.

5. Don’t throw her out. Teen girls on the street do not fare well. Teen girls who are pregnant less so. People can and will take advantage of girls in desperate situations. She may have broken your family rules and expectations. Alternatively maybe she didn’t and feels ashamed to say she was raped. Either way, she will need a home, a soft place to land, and all the love that you can give.

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Congratulations, you’re a grandparent! While this statement is wonderful when your children are married, have a stable life, and are financially independent, this statement can be devastating when you are the parent of a teenage daughter. Don’t fret, there is hope for the future. Here are some things you can do to help your daughter have success as a mother.

While being a teen mom is obviously not an ideal situation, have a conversation with your daughter, and thank her for being open with you. While you are scared for her, she is probably more scared than you are and was probably really afraid to open up to her parents with such big, life-changing news. Meet her where she is, ease her fears, and let her know that you are proud of her for being honest and wanting to do the responsible thing.

Talk about your options, ask your daughter if she wants to raise her child or place the child for adoption, and support her decision. If you daughter who chooses adoption, help her choose an agency and pick a family. If your daughter chooses to raise her child, help her navigate the waters of being a teen mom.

If your teenage daughter is in a stable relationship with a responsible father-to-be, the best decision may be for them to get married and start their own life. If the father is wanting to be in his child’s life and be together with your daughter, you may offer for them to live in your home until they finish school, and are financially able to move out on their own.

If the father is not responsible, won’t be an active father, and isn’t good to your daughter, do not force your daughter to be in a relationship with the father. Offer to let your daughter live with you while she finishes school and is able to have a steady income. While having a newborn baby in your home isn’t what you had in mind, consider this: the best chance your daughter has of living a comfortable life is to finish her education. If she has to move out on her own and work, she may be trapped in a cycle of working minimum wage jobs just to pay the rent, instead of focusing on doing well in school.

Look into your options. She may qualify for food stamps, WIC, daycare assistance, Medicare, etc. There may also be private scholarships and special night-time schools available for teenage moms.

Being a teenage mom is not as scary as it was 30 years ago due to a number of organizations and government stipends available for single-mothers and teenage mothers. Be supportive and get excited for that little bundle of joy that is about to enter the world!

The post How Parents Can Help Their Daughter Through a Teen Pregnancy appeared first on Teen Pregnancy | Facts, Rates, Stories, Help, Articles, Effects.

Compassion
Along with not letting your emotions about your friend’s pregnancy get in the way of being a good friend, you will need to exude a lot of compassion during their pregnancy. Compassion will mean remaining understanding and expressing empathy for your friend throughout their more trying times. They will likely have many people coming against them for getting pregnant so young. They may even lose some friends and family. Being compassionate of their situation despite everyone else will mean the world to your friend.

Support
In teen pregnancy, the pregnant mother will need all of the support they can muster. This will be especially true if your friend does not have the support of their family or other friends. This does not necessarily mean that you are supporting the idea of teen pregnancy, just that you are supporting your friend. Being a good friend during your friend’s pregnancy and supporting them may look different depending on the level at which your friend has others to support them. Supporting your friend may be as little as being there for her emotionally. It may also mean helping her find support services or help her make a plan for her pregnancy.

Journey With Her
Supporting your friend may also mean being her right hand through the pregnancy. If she is lacking any other support, she may need someone who can be there for her in a more involved way. While it is understandable that your friend’s pregnancy can not interrupt your life, making yourself available to the best of your ability will likely help your friend substantially. Pregnancy will be a long and arduous process. Going through pregnancy alone is scary if nothing else. Knowing that they have a shoulder to lean on and someone who will be there throughout the whole pregnancy can provide peace of mind to your friend when they feel alone in their pregnancy.

The post How To Help Your Friend Through Her Teen Pregnancy appeared first on Teen Pregnancy | Facts, Rates, Stories, Help, Articles, Effects.

1. You don’t have to go through this experience alone.

Some adoptive parents will never experience the beauty of pregnancy and birth. And if given the chance, would be happy to join you on this journey. Adoptive parents will want to know how their future child is doing and might be willing to participate in appointments with you.

2. The life you carry within you is precious.

While you might feel your child is a burden, to another woman who can’t give birth, your child is heaven sent. Parents who adopt do so because they are ready for a child to join their lives. Because of this, they can offer the stability and comforts you might be struggling with. It might be difficult, but think about your child’s future. Will you be able to financially support a newborn baby? Do you need to finish school? Do you have adequate support from family, the baby’s father, and friends to help you through this experience?

2. The gift you give is invaluable to your child and the adoptive parents.

When a birth mother allows a couple to adopt her child, she is giving a gift of love that cannot be quantified. Adoptive parents will forever be grateful to you for fulfilling their lifelong dreams.

3. With open adoption you don’t lose a child, you gain a family.

Keeping your adoption open has a lot of benefits. The most important being the connection to your child and his or her overall well-being. In addition, you become a part of a new family as well. Although adoption is a permanent decision in which you surrender your parental rights to another family, discuss how an open adoption can be arranged and how much contact you can have. You might be surprised.

4. All of my adopted children’s birth mothers are happy with their decision to have their children adopted.

My husband and I adopted four children through foster care and have three different birth mothers. While they did not have 100% control over their situation, they ultimately decided not to meet requirements for their children to return home. Several years after the adoptions, we reconnected with each birth mom. Each one told us they were glad they made the choice they did regarding their child. They were happy to see how well their kids had turned out and happier still to be reconnected after several years.

Please take time to consider your options thoroughly.  Speak to adoption professionals about the process and utilize the services provided. It’s not an easy choice, but it may a choice for you to consider for you and your child.

Written by Gelana McCloud

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Do you want more choices with your adoption plan? Do you want to regain more control in your life? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. We can help you put together an adoption plan that best meets your needs.

The post As An Adoptive Mom, I Want You To Know These 4 Things appeared first on Teen Pregnancy | Facts, Rates, Stories, Help, Articles, Effects.

I chose adoption because I was still a child

At 17, I didn’t have the coping skills to handle my own life, much less take care of another human being. I had so much to learn about how the world worked. I had just barely moved out on my own. I was moody and rebellious and immature. I didn’t know who I was yet. Admitting that maybe I didn’t know everything about the world was hard. But it wouldn’t have been fair to either of us had I tried to raise a child when I was still a child myself.

I chose adoption because I couldn’t provide the family I wanted her to have

My birth daughter’s biological father is quite a bit older than me. The relationship I had with him was not healthy, and marriage would not have been a safe idea. I wanted my little girl to have a mommy and daddy who loved each other. Had I parented, she would have been torn between her parents in a never-ending custody battle. She deserved more than that.

I chose adoption because I had goals

It’s hard to admit that placing my baby for adoption benefited me in some ways. I wanted to go to college and have a good job. I wanted to get married. I wanted to travel. Could I have reached these goals as a single parent? Probably. But it would have been a whole lot harder. The goals I want to accomplish will make me a good mom–someday. But as a teen, it wasn’t the right timing.

I chose adoption because I needed to take responsibility

One of my options was to move back in with my parents and have them help me raise the baby. That might have been okay. But I was the mom, and I felt that my parents raising my child would not have been the right thing to do in my case. My parents and I are very different in our viewpoints on parenting, and having them help me parent my child would have put a lot of strain on my relationship with them. That strain would have caused even more instability for my baby. Since I could not provide the emotional and financial stability that my child deserved, I needed to find someone who could.

Being a teen does not automatically make adoption the right choice. However, most teens need some more time to grow up before taking on the responsibility of parenting. Placing a baby for adoption does not mean you have failed. It does not mean you are irresponsible. It is your responsibility as a parent to take an objective look at your life, and decide whether you are in a place to raise a child at this time. You are the only one who can truly decide what is right for you and your baby.

Are you considering placing a child for adoption? Do you want more choices with your adoption plan? Do you want to regain more control in your life? Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98. We can help you put together an adoption plan that best meets your needs.

The post Why I Chose Adoption In My Teen Pregnancy appeared first on Teen Pregnancy | Facts, Rates, Stories, Help, Articles, Effects.

It Wasn’t Just A Teen Pregnancy

Yes, I was a teenager when I got pregnant. But what about her father? “Around two-thirds of the male partners of teenage females are older than age 20.” My baby’s father was 24 (that’s a seven year difference). My pregnancy wasn’t just a result of two dumb kids. It was the result of a relationship between a man and a young girl. I take full responsibility for my actions, I chose to enter the relationship, but I was still so young, and in some ways I feel taken advantage of.

2. I Am Not A Dropout

I had my baby in the middle of my first semester of college. I stayed in school, and am now getting close to my degree. I chose adoption, but even if I had parented, I could finish college. There would have been enough government resources to help me do that. Having a baby does not have to put a halt to your life. I am continuing my education to make her proud.

3. I’m Not Stupid or Irresponsible

Lots of teenagers have sex, and many of them have sex without birth control. Most of those kids don’t happen to get pregnant, but some of them do. Obviously, I should have been smarter. I should have insisted on using birth control, even if the man I was with was against it. But one irresponsible decision does not make me an entirely irresponsible individual. Other teens I know did use protection and still ended up pregnant. Contraception is not infallible, and failed contraception does not make them irresponsible.

4. I Am Not A Slut

I deal with the stereotype that girls who get knocked up must sleep around. This simply isn’t true. I had only been with this one guy, and I thought I was in love with him. I thought he was going to marry me, and we would live happily ever after. My child was not a result of a one night stand. She was a result of what I thought was a meaningful relationship.

5. I Can Still Be Successful

Being a teenager and pregnant makes things harder, but it does not make things impossible. I’m 20-years-old and a junior in college. I have good grades. I work three jobs. I’m making it. My little girl didn’t ruin my progress, she motivated me to make more. I got through my teen pregnancy, and I’ll get through everything else life throws my way.

Teen pregnancy is not something I recommend. It is difficult, but not impossible to get through. I had to grow up too fast. But now that I’m here, I wouldn’t change it. The love I have for my little girl and the strength I had to gain has given me the tools to have a happy, healthy adulthood.

Are you considering adoption and want to give your child the best life possible? Let us help you find an adoptive family that you love. Visit Adoption.org or call 1-800-ADOPT-98.

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